November 13, 2006 - 3:58 p.m.
I got four hours of sleep last night and today finds me, three cups of coffee later, feeling a way I haven't in quite some time. It's far too sunny for a nap, and I figure this as good a time as any to take another look at some things that have happened.
IsThisDeception: that's it
IsThisDeception: in my doorway
IsThisDeception: no kiss goodnight
IsThisDeception: no kiss goodbye
IsThisDeception: I almost tried
IsThisDeception: but when I went in for it my arm pushing myself away from the door made such an awkward noise that I couldn't bring myself up to the cliche'
IsThisDeception: maybe that's why things like this happen
IsThisDeception: I just don't care.
IsThisDeception: and it hasn't hit me yet
IsThisDeception: it sort of hit me a couple days ago
IsThisDeception: when I was walking home
IsThisDeception: I thought to myself "this is the kind of night that makes me appreciate the warmth of a woman. knowing I can come home and have someone to count on."
IsThisDeception: i thought about how I might not be able to count on her all the time
IsThisDeception: and it's happenend
IsThisDeception: fall is a lonely time to be without
IsThisDeception: and it's my favorite time to be alive
IsThisDeception: what a terrible mix
IsThisDeception: it won't him me until tomorrow.
IsThisDeception: I probably won't cry until tomorrow
IsThisDeception: if I can keep myself from doing it now
IsThisDeception: so one of my friends
IsThisDeception: just came in my room
IsThisDeception: and told me he ran into marie on his way up while she walked towards the train
IsThisDeception: I guess she was "pretty broken up about it."
IsThisDeception: she was crying
IsThisDeception: pretty bad apparently
So Dan Bejar has this new song, well, the album, the Swan Lake thing I guess will be out in a week or so now. But the song, it never really sounded to me like he was singing about much of anything. Then, while I was going back over this, I remembered what Blake had said to me when it was all finally over, when it was over for good.
"I'm a free man."
IsThisDeception: I think it just hit me
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